Ramadan, pre children was very different…but then life pre children WAS VERY different. A bit like a distant memory of a film I watched long ago. In my ‘long ago’ life, I took for granted the time I had during Ramadan to perform ibadah and observe the month fully.
Ramadan, post children, is a time I used to struggle with. I would watch as the menfolk in my family would go to Tarawih prayers, whilst I stayed at home to look after the children. I lost count of the times I had to put my Quran down so I could tend to them. I begrudged having to tidy my house up after them or at all…didn’t they know I was trying to get the best out of this auspicious month. Why couldn’t they just behave? Why couldn’t I go to Tarawih prayers? Why did I have to waste my Ramadan doing chores and looking after them?
I hate to admit to how awful this sounds but for a while this was the reality of my Ramadan experience, until one day the penny dropped. It was as if the blinkers I’d been wearing had come off and I could finally see the reality of my situation. A simple mindset shift helped me to overcome and drop the long-held belief that my children and my mothering were preventing me from gaining the benefits of Ramadan. I used to feel really disheartened that I couldn’t join in with Tarawih prayers and felt like I didn’t have time for ibadah because of the children. However, I realised that I was given these children by Allah (swt), everything I do for them is a form of ibadah if I’m doing it for His sake. I wasn’t given these children for me to feel like they get IN THE WAY of me getting the most out of Ramadan. They ARE MY WAY to get the most out of Ramadan. We are promised by Allah (swt) that He will not bestow upon us any more than we can bear. Instead of seeing the blessings of motherhood, all I could see were burdens and in failing to see the truth I was preventing myself from getting anything out Ramadan.
What I see now are opportunities to seek Allah’s (swt) rewards. Each and every parenting challenge, especially in Ramadan, is a chance to show resilience, kindness, compassion and love. Instead of asking myself ‘Why is this happening to me?’ I ask myself ‘What does Allah (swt) want from me?’
If you want to find out how this mindset shift can also change YOUR parenting in Ramadan, and life in general, then join the FREE ‘Parenting for a Peaceful Ramadan’ course. Let’s make this year your best Ramadan ever in sha Allah! For details on the course see the poster below. Register by emailing: firstname.lastname@example.org
Written by Farah Halabi, an Inside Out Parent Coach. She helps mums and women uncover their innate, unique awesomeness, to lead a life of insightful wisdom and peace. Farah has helped stressed out and overwhelmed mums embark on their own path to parenting in peace and not in pieces.